Friday, September 25, 2009

Online In Your Face

An organisation had a problem with google Search. In the first page of result there is one entry which reads , "XYZ Company is very Bad for you". Employees who hold the company dear to their hearts started bombarding the Leadership team with mails. Get it off, how can google search put a bad listing about us!!. And each of them clicked on the link multiple times to read it again and again as they could not believe their eyes. Passed it on to colleagues, past colleagues etc etc. More and more people went click, click, click listing rose till it became number two on the search listing.

Now Top Honcho`s woke up. Marketing! the scream rang out, get it off google NOW!

Marketing gave a bewildered look and said,"you can`t get it off".

Eyebrows reach non existent hairlines," why" comes out as a growl. Call Google and ask them to take it off. Legal! can we sue them.

This or similar scenarios may have been enacted not just in XYZ company but in many more organisations without any size/turnover limitations. Most organisations approach online media in the exact same manner as they would traditional media. This is the beginning of their end. Online is the exact opposite to traditional.

Traditional media is static Online is dynamic.
Content control rests with editors (with personal interests?), who put up stuff for others to read. Online Readers decide what is most popular absolute control rests with them.

Now lets look at what happens at XYZ.

Marketing gets back to a hassled CEO with the following points.

The said search listing points to a discussion group.
There were a total of three people in the ddiscussion, including the person who started the thread.
Total number of comments is three.
The last listing is over 450 days old, that is nearly 15 months old.

Smart CEO does the math and says, "hey! then it is not a popular site. But, doesnt google give you the most relevant and important sites. How come it is at rank 2. Take it off, please, call US, UK, Moon, Uranus wherever.

Appraisal time is near so marketing puts on oily sweet smile gulps excess saliva and starts....

Yes, Its not a popular site. No google doesn`t list the best sites, it lists as per search word/phrase relevance, number of people visiting the site. AND number of clicks which happen when people search for a particular string. Meaning when people search XYZ when the offending link comes up if more people click on said link, it rises up the listing.

CEO has become CEO coz he is smart and not just from Ancestral property. Bulb glows immediately, "you mean to say when each of our 1500 employees click on offending link, it goes up the listing. Google assumes that`s the most relevant result. How do we stop it".

Well, Its not just 1500 employees which has caused this. But, yes, they have contributed to it.

Online is what economists called free market, the dynamics are decided by the market forces, here the Online users. The users decide whom to read and what to say on what they read, influencing newer readers. No control works here but yes intelligence and understanding of the media will help.

Marketing rests case, leaves a pensive CEO and disapparates with out a crack!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Ubiquitous Nonsense

Being an average human being I have a very high regard for myself. So, I think, at least in private, that I am supremely gifted and unique in my thinking! Hence was under the impression that my blogs name is unique.

Did a bit of ego surfing and guess what there were tons of nonsense blogs on the web. WOW! Plagiarism at its height! Folks, people copy my ideas so well that they copy it even before the original idea comes in my head. These guys can make a great living creating question papers for board exams! March Biology paper available in February!

"Nonsense blogs" are there everywhere. Only forms vary, some have spaces, other have hyphens added, still others have it suffixed or prefixed somewhere. Some of them have got awards for dishing out awful nonsense, excellent nonsense, consistent nonsense etc. Now I cannot be the only nonsense blogger to win an award.

I wish I was born a few centuries earlier. There were lots of things to do then. For e.g., you could discover America or reach somewhere else believe it to be America and claim you discovered it. Discover the North or South Pole, the solar system etc etc sigh! Now all the easy things have been discovered! You cannot even loose the love of a good woman and go into deepest Africa. You are bound to run into terrorists, civil war guerilla’s, pirates and others!

You still don’t believe me! Ok! We shall solve that, look at the periodic table. The early scientists discovered simple names like Oxygen, Hydrogen, Iron, Gold etc. The later scientist’s poor guys had to discover such difficult things like gadolinium, ytterbium, neodymium etc. WHY because all the others were taken. So and so they had to start a back benchers section in the Periodic Table

Now you begin to believe!

My only hope now is in the next century when they compile a list of the TOP 100 Nonsense Blogs, I will feature there prominently.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Myth, Mythology,reality

The Yeti or Abominable Snowman is a mythical ape-like creature rumored to inhabit the Himalayas, and I have a pet theory on the yeti.

Hindu Mythology lists out seven Chiranjreevi`s ( loosely translated as they who never face death), if I am not mistaken there is a sloka in The Bhagavatha which lists all of them. Hanuman is the most famous among them.

The theory formulated in my mind when I was telling SnH (Son and Heir) stories of Hanuman. Incidentally, Hanuman occupies second place only to Ben10 during story time and is a clear first during prayer times, leaving Durga the nearest competitor far behind. Durga has gained considerable ground after his bout of Chicken Pox, when we told him of the Hindu connection between Goddess Durga and Chicken Pox. Wait I am digressing SnH and his varied interests will have to wait.

Hanuman was blessed with immortality and last the Purana`s say about him is he spends time meditating on His God and Lord Sri Ram. The Puranas also mention Hanuman as Siva`s reincarnation. Wouldn`t it be natural for a reincarnation of Siva to meditate for eternity in the Himalayas. Hanuman as a Vanar would obviously have ape like features. (Does Vanar really mean monkey? or was it a reference to simian featured human beings, anthropods or early cave me?)

Now, if Hanuman spends his time on prayer in the Himalayas would he not want to stay away from all human contact.After all as the Scriptures say every avatar is for that period, He belongs to a diffrent yuga a different era.

The YETI sightings are HANUMAN Sightings. The YETI IS HANUMAN!

The Yeti has stayed away from Humans, there is no known damage caused by Yeti to either Human`s or Animals.

I strongly believe that the Yeti is Chiranjeevi Hanuman.

As time passes Reality turns to myth and folklore and eventually myth and folklore gets absorbed in mythology.

What do you think?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Wailing Sheet at Work

Wikipedia has the following to say about the wailing wall. "The Western Wall (Hebrew: הכותל המערבי‎, translit.: HaKotel HaMa'aravi) (Arabic: حائط البراق‎, translit.: Ḥā'iṭ Al-Burāq), sometimes referred to as the Wailing Wall or simply the Kotel (lit. Wall; Ashkenazic pronunciation: Kosel), and as al-Buraaq Wall by Muslims, is an important Jewish religious site located in the Old City of Jerusalem".

The wall has a time honoured tradition of placing small chits which are prayers to God. The very strong belief being those prayers are answered, the requests fulfilled. There are people who believe that you place the prayer and it will be answered.

We in our office have an equivalent, I call it the wailing sheet. It stems from a belief my boss has, that if you put anything on an excel sheet it will be done. His panacea for all problems is create an excel sheet and put the plan in, minor things like budget, schedules, staff strength etc will be delivered.

How, what, where, when are minor irritants.

Is Bill gates the reincarnation of Herod the great ? (Herod the great build the Wailing wall Bill gates created excel. Duh! Ok Ok his company created excel for that matter Herods slaves build the Wall!) Herod as any one who knows his Bible will say is one very bad dude.

Now how does that sound to folks who compare Bill Gates to the devil!

Simmer in that Conspiracy Theorists!